Monthly Archives: June 2015

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Looking Within

HOW DO YOU FEEL ABOUT THE IMPORTANCE OF LOOKING WITHIN YOURSELF AND OTHERS?

It is very nice to look at a beautiful woman or a handsome man and feel attracted to the beauty of his or her external l00k. I think we can all admire beauty, yet, can we feel the importance of looking inside that person.  Who is that woman or man?  Style is lovely, but courage is better.  Is that person compassionate, kind, or giving? Can that person give back to you, when you give so much?

Can  you feel safe with that man or woman?  Does that man or woman recognize your special qualities? Is your personal security in tact. We often make mistakes because we are afraid to recognize the truthful qualities of the person we connect to. We cannot put individuals on a pedestal because they will eventually fall off.

Do you feel that the person you are with enjoys the same things that you do? Do you feel happy when you are with that person.  We do not attract to someone because he or she is a challenge, because the challenge will diminish after awhile. Are you proud to be with the person you care about? I do believe that love is the answer, but that love has to be internal as well as external.

Why are we afraid to communicate our feelings?  Even though we may not be a “feelings” person we need to recognize the feelings in the person we are with.  If you are a “facts” person you need to recognize that even though feelings tend to scare you, it’s important to understand them in someone else.

Looking within is difficult. I recommend a good life coach.

I use astrology along with my coaching. I always ask the birthday when I begin to coach. I also get a sample of their handwriting for analysis of their personality. Therefore, I know who is walking in the door for their first session. Nothing is scary when truth prevails. In fact, it is so helpful to understand the traits and characteristics you were born with.

Most of us have some baggage when we enter a relationship. Therefore, we need to rectify that baggage before we marry anyone. It is normal to have some baggage, but the issues that come with baggage must be solved.

I have couples that come to see me before they marry. They find that it is wise to have a mediator, who is truly in their corner before they marry. There are too many difficult relationships and marriages, because so many of the people involved are frightened to talk about what really bothers them. So many women have fathers that do not pay attention to them and they choose a man who is similar to their fathers. If they feel that their fathers have abandoned them, they do not want to spoil anything, because they may be abandoned again!

Love is beautiful, but it takes work. Chemistry can come quickly, but who you are within can be work for your partner. If both partners are willing to work, without fear of abandonment they can grow together. Men can often attract to their mother figures if the mother is very dominating. Therefore, they need to be careful to want to romantic figure, instead of a mother figure.

I have helped many people in relationships and it has been both fulfilling for me and for them! My father asked me what made me happy and he said I was seven years old.  I responded with, “Love Is
The Answer Daddy!”  He laughed out loud, as he always did and said, “I’m going to tell the whole family that you need a lot of love!  I kissed him and said, “Go Right Ahead!”

“Don’t be afraid to get to know yourself, and don’t be afraid to know your partner.”

That’s when love lasts a very long time!

 

You can connect with me at 312-944-7256 or Firegyrl@aol.com I can help you when you are read to begin your journey of “Looking Within.”

 

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People Pleaser 3 Steps

3 steps to make you strong and not a people pleaser!

So many of are raised with extreme expectations. A strong mother who believes in perfection, and wants to train her children to be perfect, just like she is, can be harmful to her children. Mom does not do this intentionally, but she has been raised like this, so she uses her behavior (the one she is used to) and passes it on to her children. Hello, future people pleaser.

STEP ONE: be open to loving yourself.

Most children do not like to become what their mothers expect them to be. They truly want  their mothers to know who they are. My book, The Stars In Your Family is about raising your kids as to who they are, with the aid of Astrology. This book has become a bible to a lot of mothers.

What happens to kids who are raised by very strong, perfect, mothers?  They grow up trying to please everyone. They grow up needing a lot of approval, which makes them think, I’m Not Good Enough. I’m not good enough passes on to their work, their relationships, and minimalizes their self-esteem. I’m sure that a lot of my readers tend to understand this.

What happens to a pleaser?  He or she becomes an excessive caretaker.  He or she will build inner anger and have fear of personal confrontation. Pleasers can harm the development of their potential. They never can please everyone enough. They never can get enough approval. Pleasers do not know how to receive and if they do not have this ability they will never feel worthy or deserving.

STEP TWO: let go of the past

I work with my clients in reference to learning self-love. Can you imagine that I spoke to 50 women last week and asked them to raise their hands if they have believe they have self-love. One out of the 50 raised her hand. Living your truth and developing self-love is the way to happiness. Most people spot a pleaser, and it can be difficult in a marriage.

When you please all the time and have no expectation of receiving anything, your mate will never think you need anything. Most pleasers begin to resent doing it all. We do not need to please to be loved. A couple needs to give and receive to build a powerful relationship. They will learn to appreciate each other in a wonderful way. Pleasing is a form of control. If I do it all then I will not be hurt. Wrong!!  If you do it all you will feel very insecure.

Human Beings cannot be self-critical if they are not perfect or make a mistake. There is no perfect, there is good enough. There is patting yourself on the back and thinking I really did that well. We suffer from perfection, too much worry, anxiety, and building chaos. We cannot create mountains out of molehills.

My son just changed jobs and he is very talented. He was so worried about how his ex-employers would react to his change. I told him, “They would not give you the salary you deserved. They expected you to work at least 14 hours a day, without overtime. They did compliment you about your talent, but they did not value your talent in reference to money and time.”  He did change the job and got a lot more money. He said to me, “Why did I worry so much.” I responded with, “You forgot about your self-love, my dear.” He smiled and said, “Right on mom.”

STEP THREE: let go of the drama

We cannot forget about our natural talent and ability. We cannot allow anyone to abuse our self-love. My mother tried and I told her I could not be the frightened woman she was. My father said I was 8 years old when I said it. He clapped when I said it. What a man he was. He’s gone and I miss him very much.

Understand who you are and love who you are. You will be giving yourself a fabulous gift, you’re not bound to be a people pleaser.

Please call me for your Astrology and Life Coaching Appointment!