My biggest difficulty is to help my clients to keep the good that happens to them ALIVE. So many people focus on the”not good” that happens to them. I say to them, “Why do you make mountains out of molehills?” Why is drama more important than peace of mind. Why does “not good enough” become the negativity that keeps you from reaching your true potential? Even though I discuss this with them so many of them continue to look for perfection.
When we strive for perfection, we build anxiety and stress to achieve that perfection. My experience has shown me that striving for perfection affects our health in many ways. It could be a heart attack, a stroke, ulcers, krones disease and more. Most people do not realize what they are doing to their bodies with their extreme anxiety.
My clients laugh and say, “I’m a drama queen.” I respond with, “It’s fun to be a “drama queen or king” if it’s about humor or overacting.” It’s not fun to live with misery on a daily basis. It’s not fun to be unhappy all the time. You can probably notice a person’s sadness by the expression on his or her face. Many people tell me that their misery comes from the way they were raised. I ask them, “Do you enjoy watching your parents’unhappy natures most of the time? Of course they answer NO! I again ask, “Then why do you think you need to take on their behavior, and adopt it as your own.”
We need to love who we are instead of becoming self-critical. We are usually critical of something that is not true. We cannot create lies about ourselves. I have a client that tells me she is fat, and she wears a size four. I look at her and say, “Do you like to lie to yourself?” You need to be grateful that you are not overweight. She responds, “Well, my stomach is not flat!” I could not believe it,but I say if you are going to lie to yourself to look for trouble then there is no reason to come to me for coaching. She looked down and said, but I want you to coach me.” I responded with, “Then live your truth and welcome it.” She smiled and said, “I know that your brand is truth and that is why I have come to you.” I responded, if you want to live your truth, then I will guide you.! She smiled again and said, “Please do.”
Happiness is a choice, unless you are very ill and have difficulty recovering. A positive attitude can often help us to get better. I have had an operation on my knee and he doctor said that I will need a cane for six weeks. I told him, “Six weeks! I will be better in two.” It was my positive attitude and determination to get well in two weeks, and I did. If we count the good that happens to us, and discount the bad that happens to us, we can find that we can live with a positive attitude, rather than turning to negativity. There are times when we have to look for the positive outlook, when we are bombarded with troublesome situations. We need to look for healthy results to solve the difficulty.
Once we do, we can go back and recover our positive behavior. I will leave you with asking you to count the good, and try to maintain a positive attitude!