Monthly Archives: September 2014

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WHY DO I CRITICIZE MYSELF?

My experience has shown me that a huge percentage of human beings tend to be self-critical. When they complete a project, or participate in an important discussion, they begin to think, and say to themselves, “I could have handled that much better. It wasn’t perfect!” Since there is no perfect, why can’t they believe that “being good enough” is truly the way they can find clarity, and develop their best potential.

Most people TALK about the importance of believing in themselves. Yet, when they are given a compliment about their talent and ability, can they accept and receive that compliment? No, because they tend to live with negativity, when they need to live with a positive attitude.

Criticizing oneself becomes a drama on a daily basis. Instead of patting yourself on your back, and say good for you _____, you think about your mistakes or things you should have done.

We can not succeed in what we want to accomplish, or have the courage to go forward if we live with self-criticism. I urge all of you to put yourself first, because it’s not selfish, it’s healthy.

Don’t waste your time with dramas that are not true. Our self-esteem will grow when we live with understanding, and nurturing who we are. In addition we need to act on it. Here’s to enhancing the lack of self-criticism! You can do it!

Being hard on yourself is not usually the truth. I give my clients three lists to begin our coaching. What do you like about yourself? What don’t you like about yourself? How do you sabotage yourself? The shortest list is “What do I like about myself?” The longest list is “What don’t you like about yourself”.

Yesterday, I asked a client why she said she was fat? She responded with, “Because I am”! I continued with, “What size dress do you wear?” She responded with “Size 4”. I couldn’t help but smile and said, “Why are you lying?” She looked at me and said, “Lying.” I responded with “Yes, lying.”

I find that when I give my clients a compliment they do not know how to receive it. I might say,”You look pretty today.”
And my client tends to look down, or reveals her embarrassment. I respond with, “Why is it so difficult for you to accept my compliment? She would respond with, “I don’t believe it!” I could say to another client, “You are very smart”, and he may say, “Not smart enough.” I work with my clients to live and understand their truth. Most of this work is about learning what I call “Self-Love”.