So many of us get in the way of our own self-acceptance. We tend to be overly self-critical, we judge ourselves, without good reason, and we set up dramas that are negative. Most of all we have trouble with believing in ourselves. Self-Acceptance and self-love go hand and hand. I believe that you can’t have self-love without self-acceptance.
My clients have one assignment when they come for their first session. What Do I Like About Myself? What don’t I like about myself? and finally How do I sabotage myself in my personal and professional life? It’s funny how these three lists intermingle and reveal a lot about them.
One of my clients said, “What don’t I like about myself?” Response: I am fat. As I read it I asked her how could she say that she is fat? She responded with “look at my stomach.” I said, “What about it?” She looked at me as though I was crazy and said, “It bulges.” I asked, “What size dress do you wear?” She responded with, “Size four”. I then looked at her as though she was crazy and said, “Size four?” I went further with “how could you say that you are fat?” She says, “I think I am!” I was losing my patience and said, “Do you always make mountains out of molehills?” She looked down and said, “Yes, I do!” I responded with, “Not only do you look for trouble, but what you said was a lie.” She smiled and said, “Don’t you think I’m fat?” I cringed a bit and said, “No, you are not. I believe you have a problem with self-acceptance.
So many of my clients tend to see themselves in the wrong light. They fight their true potential because they are afraid they are not good enough. So many of us have the problem with feeling “not good enough”. This becomes a major problem when I coach them. There is a quote that I recently found and it says, “If most of us remain ignorant of ourselves it’s because self-knowledge is painful and we prefer the pleasures of illusions.
I agree with this quote and I also would use the word self-drama. Why do people count the things they didn’t do, rather than the things they accomplish. They seem to take for their accomplishment for granted, as though they didn’t matter. Is it the way they are raised? Do they receive compliments from their parents? Evidently not enough!
We cannot live in the past. We cannot blame our family. We need to live in the now, understanding who we are and who we have become. It feels so good to live with self-acceptance. If we can learn to feel good about ourselves then we cannot be abused, and we do not have to be tolerant of the things that hurt us. My work with clients is to help them to become positive in their thinking and recognize their quality in the best way!