Monthly Archives: July 2012

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Lost and Alone

You’re in your late forties and you’ve been pushed out of an important job that provided safety and security. How do you feel?

Some people will try to encourage you and say, “It was meant to be.” A new door will open. There’s a reason for everything” and they’re right, but those words only make you feel a little better.

Losing a good job in your 40s is scary—especially when you don’t have anyone else to support you. Even if you do have a mate or someone else to take care of you the loss is devastating, and the worry is extreme.  None of us want to lose our independence and dignity.

At first, your insecurity looms large, and you begin to doubt your talent and ability. Most of all you may feel rejected. It’s understandable that you may begin to criticize yourself. You think, “I wasn’t good enough. I didn’t standup for myself.” And then you get angry and think, “Why didn’t they appreciate me? They can’t find someone with my experience. They didn’t consider my feelings.” And you may be right.

What does wallowing in our own self-pity do for us?  Not much! It only brings depression, lack of self-esteem, and self-imposed mind-stories, that are mostly illusion.

The one real thing that we have in our favor when life seems impossible is believing in ourselves. We cannot give up our identity or what we have built in our lives because we lost a job. We will only know our strength when we are challenged. If we have been strong and competent before, we can be strong and competent again.

We need to review and value our past accomplishments. We must understand that we can learn anything if we can hold on to our self-esteem. We didn’t lose our intelligence, we lost a job. We are as young as we think we are. What we think we become and what we believe we are! If we are physically and mentally healthy we can conquer anything we put our minds to.

It’s not about obsessing over your loss, it’s about exploring a new or similar career. It’s about exploring a career that will make your heart sing.  It’s about catching yourself when your nerves and anxiety take over, as nerves and anxiety get in the way of your spirit and enthusiasm.

Whenever we are challenged we must feel that there are always possibilities. What we were before, we can be again and more.  When we can hold on to ourselves and reinvent our lives, we are never alone and lost.