Sylvia Friedman TRUTH blog

Are you raising your children as to who they are, or who you expect them to be? Do you want them to be just like you, even when they’re not? Is your ego getting in the way of their freedom? Do you want them to achieve more than you did? Are their grades more important to you than they are? My experience has revealed that most parents raise their kids by creating what I call  Illusionary Mind Stories.

What are mind stories? The spinning of your mind, creating questions and conversations in your head, creating dramas that do not exist, and looking for trouble.

I never doubt that most parents love their children and want them to be the best they can be. In fact, they will go out of their way to see that they are. Unfortunately, there are many times when they cross the line. We all know that each one of us create mind stories on a daily basis. We waste our energy on thinking about things that may never happen. We waste our energy creating dramas that may be destructive. Your mind stories may not always be about your children. In fact, they are usually about your own lives and what happened to you. If your parents did not speak to you, you might not speak to your children. We cannot allow our minds to spin with worry and create problems that can be negative and overwhelming.

When we raise our children we need to be positive, realistic, responsible, and open minded. We must not allow our own worrisome nature, and our need to control get in the way of making wise decisions. We need to be clear and intuitive when we guide our children. We cannot push them too far, or make plans for their future, without asking them “How do you feel? or What do you think? We cannot choose their careers, expect them to be perfect, or never trust them to be decisive. They will never feel good enough and it will stay with them for the rest of their lives.

As a workshop facilitator and coach I find that many of the students I teach are resentful that their parents will not let go of them, or trust them to make their own decisions. They would rather have their parents guide them, rather than control them. They want their independence, as long as they know that their parents are there for them.

It’s never too late to understand what your children need. You do not have to spin illusionary mind stories in your head, you just have to openly ask the questions and get their answers.

It’s very important that parents present an honest image of themselves. It’s fine to be financially successful, but it’s more important to be personally successful. Get to know your children and if they are not like you, understand and accept that difference.

ANGER – LET IT OUT!

Human beings are not born angry. They build their dissatisfaction through disappointment and a lack of attention! When kids grow up in a so-called normal family there may still be signs of disfunction, because their parents can be afraid of self-expression. Many parents have problems with understanding their children, because they rarely give them a chance to express their real thoughts or feelings. If they don’t give them permission to be themselves they cannot learn to appreciate their real talent and ability, as they grow and mature. Unfortunately, many parents decide on how children should be raised before they are born.  Once they have them they begin to tell them what to do and how to be. They innocently see their behavior as protective, when it’s all about control.

They rarely ask them questions like “What do you think?, or How do you feel? They are too busy planning their agendas on a daily basis. This can be very stressful. Kids are influenced by parents who live with nervous anxiety and stress. They begin to fear their choas. Therefore, they do not speak up or stand up for themselves because they may not get their approval.  Parents may not be conscious of behaving in a cold, critical or judgmental manner,but many do. What happens when you are criticized, judged or controlled? Personally insecurity becomes a huge part of our personality. Personal insecurity is encouraged when we grow up in homes where everything is extreme.

Even when a lifestyle is considered “normal” children pay the price for their parent’s fearful behavior. Parents can often be unconscious of their child’s suffering, because they are to busy to give them the attention they need. Kids suppress their feelings each time they feel hurt or unfairly punished. The anger and resentment builds because they are afraid to express themselves. They do not believe they can be themselves and they have problems understanding themselves because their parents do not understand them. Kids begin to build a thick shell around them, which is called self-protection. Self protection makes them angry because they are afraid to be themselves. When you are afraid to be yourself, you are forced into becoming what your parents expect you to be. This behavior is usually contradictory to what  you truly believe, and that makes you angry. If your parents do not accept you for who you are you begin to live with white lies as a small child, which often turns into huge lies, as you grow older.  If we do not learn how to let the anger go, living in your own world becomes a lie.

The disappointments we suffer starts when we are very young, and then many of us turn to rebellion. We rebel because we don’t understand how to confront our anger, or our pain. We are afraid to stand up for ourselves. Therefore this built up anger leads you into seeking attention, even though it may be negative attention.  Angry little kids turn into teenagers that rebel and will do anything to get attention; but it’s  usually a form of negative attention.

These kids often harbor their pain and anger until it explodes. They stifle their feelings until something triggers them toward punishing others, just to get rid of their own pain. It is not the other person that can help them with their anger, it is their determination to say goodbye to it.

They say that we choose our parents. If we do, that doesn’t mean they are right for us. Little girls tend to lose their fathers early, because of dysfunctional behavior or their careers tend to dominate their lives. Therefore, mom begins to make all of their decisions from the time they are very young. Growing up with dominant mothers often attracts men to dominating females who want to make all of their decisions. Cold distancing fathers cause their daughters to attract to cold, distancing men, who will also abandon them.

My experience as a coach and speaker has shown me that many of my clients irrevocably resist letting go of their anger. I tell them, “The key to resolving your anger is to understand what provokes this familiar pain.” This anger is buried deep within us, and only comes to the surface when we suffer from new, old or imagined wounds. Anger and personal insecurity are closely aligned. One nurtures the other. This duo can destroy any possibility of pleasure or happy moments. It strives to diminish positive attitudes, replacing them with negativity. It’s your choice if you want to hold on to your anger, but if you do nothing will ever be good enough.

LIVING YOUR TRUTH KEEPS YOU HEALTHY

Half-day Workshop
Sunday, April 22, 2012
1:00—5:00 pm

Learn the true meaning of self-confidence and self-acceptance.
Ten ways to find inner truth. Have fun with identifying your energy,
communication and self-discovery skills.

Presented by Sylvia Friedman:

Life Coach
Motivational Speaker
Published Author
Appeared on:

•     The Oprah Winfrey Show
•     Phil Donohue
•     WLS and WGN Radio

Graduate of Northwestern University
Astrologer
Handwriting Analyst
and more!

The Workshop will offer:
Tools to eliminate your inner chaos in order to find peace of mind.
How to recognize unhealthy patterns in relationships and transform
them into positive loving experiences.
Learn the importance of nurturing and preserving your individuality.

It’s a workshop you won’t want to miss!

Cost:
Pre-register: $125
At the door: $135
Complimentary 15-minute
handwriting analysis included

Location:  Solay Wellness
4819 W. Main Street, Skokie, Illinois

RSVP: Suzanne
312.618.4302

I can’t help but notice a client who functions with a large degree of chaos. Their eyes dart from place to place, they bite or pick their lips, they play with their clothes, or  continually touch their hair. All of this can happen in a few minutes, as they sit in the chair in front of my desk. I find that chaotic people usually enter the door as though they’re in a fog. One day a new client entered my office and her anxiety was very apparent. I said, “Please go out into the hall, breathe, and calmly come back into the office”. She wasn’t happy and tried to do what I asked, but the calm was minimal.

I always recognize clients who are full of intensity, nerves, anxiety and worry. I try to tell them that this behavior will eventually hurt their bodies. I’m not talking about getting a cold, or the flu, I’m talking about getting a surprise heart attack or a stroke. This happens to many of my male clients, but the women have their share.

Those individuals, who can’t trust or love themselves will suffer the most. They can’t seem to stop their drama and they can’t seem to go the distance, when it comes to changing their  behavior. It isn’t easier to live with unhappiness and fear, when it comes to personal confrontation, taking risks, or standing up for ourselves.. It isn’t easier to remain in a job that you dislike and in a marriage that is very lonely. It isn’t easier to continue to please every, seek their approval and always say yes.

When I  coach my very chaotic clients, I tell them that their fearful natures will eventually diminish their spirit and courage. I also say, “A lack of courage gets in the way of believing in yourself. It gets in the way of  building healthy relationships. And most of all, it gets in the way of living your truth.

My philosophy of living a truthful life has influenced my clients to build their mental and physical health. Our bodies do not respond well to constant worry and intensity. We can slowly fall apart if we do not live with a truthful and positive attitude. Self-criticism can diminish self-confidence and self-esteem. An unhealthy relationship creates an unhealthy life. When we endure pain and abuse we become too serious and unhappy. When we hold on to things that torture us this kind of frustration brings on anger and punishment.

I decided that “truth needs to be our answer” because through truth comes love.

The truthful life is the only life worth living. Someone just quoted my true feelings. “Nothing is perfect, but truth is as close as we get.”

I am proud to show Jackie Pilossoph’s blog about me. She certainly got the message. A fine writer.

~Sylvia

Since I’ve been a certified handwriting analyst for over 20 years, I thought you might find some of these facts interesting. I use handwriting as a tool for coaching, team building, testifying in court, hiring, entertainment (trade shows, events and parties) and romantic compatibility.  By their handwritings…you shall know them!

What is Graphology? It was coined from the Greek Graph, which means writing and suffixology, which is applied to the names of scientific study. It is the professional term for handwriting analysis. I call it the blueprint of our brain.  The art or science of deducing character, disposition, aptitudes, truthfulness, courage, leadership and much more.

How did writing first begin. Legend tells us that it was begun by the ancient Egyptian God Thorn, who is pictured with the face of the sacred bird called “The Ibis.”  The story goes that he used a flat reed pen, crushed to the softness of a brush in his hands. He held his bill in the muddy banks of the nile and writing was born.

As early as the 11th century, a chinese philosopher and painter name Jo-Hau had declared that handwriting infallibly shows us whether it comes from a vulgar or noble-minded person.

In 1622 Camillo Baldi, doctor and professor at the University of Bologna, and a famous scholar of his day, asserted that it was obvious that all persons wrote in their own peculiar way and that in private letters everyone used characteristic forms, which could not be truly imitated by anyone else. The artist Gainsborough invariable kept before him, while he was working on a portrait, the handwriting of his subject.  Aesop, Aristotle, Julius Caesar and Cicero were among the outstand personalities of ancient days who advocated the study of handwriting, in order to know the character of a person.

Sir Walter Scott, Disraeli and Robert Browning were students of Graphology. In Germany, graphology has been studied in connection with the subject of psychology. I coach students and I use it for vocational guidance. What career would be good for their natural talent and ability. I help to guide my clients with their compatibility and relationships.

The only thing that handwriting does not reveal is the sex, whether male or female. It is very easy to recognize the handwriting of the bookkeeper, the engineer and the artist. An individual’s handwriting, combined with my instincts provides me with a great deal of accuracy. The tool has been valuable and enlightening in reference to human nature.

If you’re interested or have any questions regarding my services as a handwriting analyst, please go to my website www.sylviafriedman.com  for more information, and click on contact Sylvia.  The entire month of February, 20% discounts will apply.  You’ll be shocked on how much you can learn!

We all live with fear, even when our lives are stable, but the percentage we choose to live with, at this point in time, is up to us.  Believe it or not, it’s our choice! If we take the time to nurture our ability to trust and have faith, we can openly fight our fear. Our happiness and freedom depends on replacing fear with courage.

I teach a workshop for students at colleges across the country. It is called “Who’s In Charge Of Your Life?” When I ask this question, I encourage them to answer, “I am”. In fact, I give them a bracelet engraved with the words “I Am”.  They love wearing it, as the bracelet provides a constant reminder of their strength.

If we are to build our courage and freedom we cannot be overly self-critical.  We can never feel good enough if we constantly criticize ourselves, create mountains out of molehills, and worry, worry, worry. Most people fear change, even though it may benefit them. They stay in the wrong  jobs, endure the wrong relationships and destroy their ability to act upon their dreams. Of course we are living in a scary time, because we cannot control what other people do. Therefore, we need to motivate ourselves with a burning passion to brave any danger or endure any trial.

Worry is a form of fear — a thin stream of poison trickling through the mind. It will cause uncertainty and doubt. When worry becomes habitual, it forms a channel into which all our thoughts are drained, producing discouragement and depression.

Intuition is a powerful ally. It can serve as a loyal advisor and guide us toward making wise decisions. If we believe in our intuition, we can take a huge step toward fighting our fear. We all have basic instincts if we do not destroy them with too much anxiety, intensity, detail, structure, perfection — Blah,Blah,Blah. Insight gives us the power to deal with fear of the unknown. It helps us to try something new without waiting for the next shoe to drop. Risk, dare life and make your dreams come true!  Start your day with good humor! Smile at yourself in the mirror! Be upbeat and love who you are! Do this on a daily basis and fear will be afraid of you!